Hopeless and Suicidal?

Summer was long gone and the stress of college has started 35 days ago.

It was sad that season has changed but my devotional notebook remains empty. It only means that I failed to give the time intended for You since day one.

I was busy. Yes I was and I am. Deadlines of assignments and activities and many responsibilities and meeting to attend to keeps me away from You. Or at least it did. 

Truth is. I can find time if I wanted to. But I chose to spend my time to my social media accounts, to the people who doesn’t really need my time and to other things which really doesn’t count.

I was stressed out. Responsibilities has been hard for me. I felt so pressured with all the things I have to comply day by day. I was disorganized and imbalance. I was broke and broken. I was emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and spiritually unstable. 

But despite of all my lapses You remain faithful. You never fail me. You’ve been there from the rising of the sun until it hid itself back to its shelter again. You have been taking care of me and showering me grace, revealing yourself in every circumstances I encounter day by day.

Now as I came in contact with my Awareness Impact Group, I saw and was amazed of how good You are in my life, Jesus. As the leaders opened up to me the hardships they are going through right now my heart cries with them. They are the people who already have encountered You for hundred of times but they are also the same people who are feeling hopeless today.

I understand them since I was also one of those people who had gone a long journey with You Lord but still feel suicidal in some point of my life.

I was reminded by what You told me back then when I felt like giving up and ending my life. 

A person who opens his bible, read it and meditate upon it daily will never feel hopeless and will never ever ran out of reason to live his life. 

You give purpose to the person who finds You and keeps You. In You there is genuine joy. In You there is always hope for tomorrow. 

I cry with them knowing in my heart that our hope is You and everything will be alright. I am 100% certain with it, we just have to unload our burdens to you in prayer and read your word for us to be reminded of our identity in your love.

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let a righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

Thank you Jesus.

(Written by: Clennkei)